Real Houswife, baby!

Psh!  The real housewives have nothing on THIS real housewife!  Well, except maybe money...and nannies....and hairstylists...and designers...and personal trainers...

Anyway...I think its kind of tragic that our "reality" t.v. shows depict the reality of about 3% of the population.  I would really love to look into the life of a true housewife (you know, like the kind that live next door to you or I) and put to shame most of the reality t.v. women.  They speak so much of family and loyalty, yet what they are actually doing in their lives is so contrary to what they preach!  Their lives don't even mirror the day to day of a real housewife.  I want to see just ONE of them driving themselves to watch their kids soccer game.  Or how about sitting down and doing homework with their kids?  Or how about mopping the floors?  Gardening?  Silly Amanda...that doesn't get viewers! 

We don't watch them because they are Real Housewives.  We watch them because they are so not us...

Debbie Downer

I'm sure somewhere in the world there is a woman named Deborah Downer.  Poor thing.

Anyway, that should have been my name today.  For no good reason at all, I was miserable today.  Actually, I can think of a couple of reasons that contributed to my blah day, but it would be distasteful to say what is really on my mind.  So I will refrain.  Instead I could blame a little of it on the lack of sleep that has been building over the last few days.  Also a contributing factor could be the large amount of sugar cookies, made by my mother-in-law, to sabotage me and make me fat I devoured (and of course, felt guilty about).  Audra fell (sat) on Elijah's leg and for a few minutes, he wouldn't move it (nor would he stop crying).  I thought for sure I was going to have to take him to the E.R. for a broken leg.  I never fail to jump to worst-case scenario (how do they cast babies?  how will this affect his growth?  will they have to re-break it?...etc.).  This kind of thing isn't good for my heart.  Thank goodness his little leg is fine.  I also had class this morning...nuff said.

And here it is.  11:09.  Im sitting in my bed blogging after watching Bridesmaids, still feeling sorry for myself.  Thinking about all of the things I needed to do today that I didn't do...and of course, beating myself up over it.  For instance, tomorrow is Audra's birthday party (the other party was canceled due to an ear infection).  I was suppose to make cupcakes.  I did not.  Now I need to scramble to buy a cake that wont be nearly as cool *sigh*.  I really hate that I did that.  I suppose I could get up at 5 a.m. to make them before going to the 8:45 service, serving in the childrens ministry for the 10:00, going to a baby shower for 11:30, hitting up the balloon store for 2:30ish, making it home by 3:00 for the actual party.  Somewhere in between I need to pick up a gift bag for the baby shower gifts, decorate the house, and take a shower.  I could cry. 

Im praying for a sunny disposition tomorrow.  Im also praying for a really good, sound, nights sleep. 

This is what I mean...

When I said...

Owl-bird-tree things

So stinkin' cute!

All kinds of cute

I love this hat.

I love owls.

I love that whole owl-bird-tree thing that

has become kind of

popular lately.  Its not a 'retro'

type thing, is it?

Well, I dont know what it is, but I love it.

And even more than I love this hat,

or owl-bird-tree things...

I love this little boy.

He has brought more smiles to strangers,

more joy to my heart, and more light to the world.

=)

Birthday Party!

Tomorrow my family and I will be celebrating my daughters 3RD birthday.  You hear people say "where did the time go" or "I cant believe (fill in the blank) is already (however old)!", or "my how time flies!" all of the time.  And I even catch myself saying to people "it happens quick!" or "it seems like yesterday".  I guess since these phrases are said so often, and we hear some form of them on an almost daily basis ("enjoy those little ones, they grow up fast!"), it must be a testament to how true it really is.  So here it goes....

Where did the time go?  I cant believe my first-born is already 3!  It just happened so quick!  Time flies...

Most of the time when I look upon that beautiful little face, I just see my little Audibell.  But there are the rare moments when she gives me a certain look - I can almost see my baby.  You know, my teeny tiny Audra.  And its not just that...its her smell.  Sometimes I can smell my newborn baby, but its so faint and it happens so quick.  Then its gone.  I think back to being pregnant with her and how excited I was to finally hold her.  When they gave her to me all swaddled and pink, it didn't take me but a minute to unwrap her so I could make sure she was perfect.  And those little tiny toes.  I loved those little feet.  Those first couple of days in the hospital were so surreal, but so amazing.  I just held her...her little head tucked up under my chin as I listened to all of those musical newborn sounds.  I had no idea while holding her then what it would sound like to hear her say "I love you, momma".

And here I am, sobbing.  I love her so much.  She brings laughter to my life like no one else has.  Shes growing up and truly, it has happened so fast.

Its getting colder.

As much as I love the Summer, I love Autumn even more.  Its the way things smell, the feel of the air, the seasonal fruit, the fairs, and maybe a  touch of anticipation of Christmas.  Things have really gotten busy around here lately now that fall has come.  Audra started Pre-school, which is awesome.  She was so ready and is learning so much.  Not to mention, its nice for me to have a couple of hours in the morning with Elijah.  Its like he and I have little dates throughout the week.  She also started Gymnastics,  which has been, ummm...interesting.  I think she might be getting kicked out though (whole other story).  Then Nick and I started school.  He for his Masters, I for my Associates.  Thats complicated things a little.  We also joined a Small Group (a.k.a. Bible Study) which is something we look forward to on a weekly basis.  So yeah, its been a little chaotic, to say the least.
While I am enjoying the quickened pace as of late, I'm also having a hard time with being hard on myself.  I can't help but feel the pressure to be the picture perfect woman-mom-student-wife-friend-christian-and house keeper.  I look at all of the women who surround me.  Those I know, and those I am only acquaintances with.  Here is what Im up against....

Woman #1- Super crafty (sooo talented) and has the warmest house you have ever been invited to.
Woman #2- Amazing christian woman who is so close to God that it just seeps out of her being (and makes you want to be around her). 
Woman #3- Super motivated, active, and fit mom.  I cant even get into that one...
Woman #4-Successful business mom
Woman #5- Mom and successful working woman who looks GREAT in everything she wears.  Im sure she would be picture-ready even if she had not showered for 3 days.
Woman #6- Woman who has a super clean house, is a runner, has two kids, and makes home-cooked healthy meals daily.  This one makes me want to cry...

*sigh*  I just want to like who I am, ya know?  Truth be told, there are times when Im proud of what I have accomplished in life, but most of the time...I find myself wanting to take parts of these other women and build myself into my idea of perfect.  Then when I fall short, it really hurts.  Even if I could collect half of these women's attributes, I would feel better.  But then I think about this verse in the Bible...

              So God created human beings in his own image.
      In the image of God he created them;
      male and female he created them. 

 *Genesis 1:27

So if God is perfect (and he is) and he created ME in his own image, should I not give God's work some respect?  I absolutely should!  I should strive to love myself just as I am, just as God made me, because this is who I'm suppose to be right now.  I'm not going to stop striving to be better, but I'm going to try to stop beating myself up over not being like her, or her, or her...etc. 

                                             You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
                                             and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank 

                                             you for making me so wonderfully complex!
                                             Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 

                                             You watched me as  I was being formed in utter
                                             seclusion as I was woven together in the dark of the 
                                             womb.

*Psalm 139: 13-15